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Oct. 11th, 2006 @ 10:30 am (no subject)
Current Mood: nauseatednauseated
Hey, newbie here! *waves* First-time poster, not-so-long-time-lurker, I came to this site because I was reminded of a Suethor I used to role-play with, but she doesn't seem to be here, so I think I'm safe. If I find her Sue name in fanfiction.net I'll definitely post about her, though.

My name's Becky, BTW. But you guys can call me Lady Yuki. I love Shaman King, and hate Mary Sues with a passion. (Although I did write up a Sue for the Pokemon fandom once...)

Anyway, on with the submission!

Fanfiction Name: The Blood-Rose Stone

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3180025/1/

Fanfiction Author: silverwolf

Character's Name: Angel (Yaaaaaawn....)

Relations to the Original Characters: Apparently, she's Hao's bitch or something. Oh, and she gets into some sort of trouble and needs help from Yoh and his friends.

Physical Characteristics of the OC: She's got "long black hair" that "blows from side to side" when she's doing a spell and "ocean blue orbs" Honestly, what is wrong with saying "eyes"? Oh, because that's not CREATIVE enough. *orbroll*

Special Abilities That Do Nothing For The Reader Other Than Get On Their Nerves: The first words of the summary directly read, "Angel is a shaman with the power of the universe." I think that says QUITE enough...

Critiques/Rants/Samples of the Story: You'd think a shaman with 'the poer of the universe" (whatever that is) would be a LITTLE more powerful and therefore NOT need rescuing by anyone from anyone else, but I suppose for a Suethor that would be even worse.

'The teenage girl closed her eyes and began to slowly move her pale fingers around a small blood red stone upon a golden chain. Her long black hair blew from side to side in the wind as rain drops rolled down her face, clearing her mind of all its thoughts.

The girl quickly snapped her ocean blue orbs open and turned around to see a small coloured boy in an orange poncho looking right at her with his small but sharp black eyes.

“What do you want Opacho?” the girl questioned the small boy coldly.

“My master has sent me to tell you that he wants the blood rose stone” Opacho said with a small but evil smile across his face.

“Go tell your master to go fuck himself!” the girl snapped as she walked away leaving the small boy laughing behind her.'

This is right before she plays the victim of a a bitter, bitter beating from the oh-so-jealous Hanagumi girls. But like I said, it's only a small sample. It gets worse. MUCH worse.

'There was silence between them as they made their way towards Len’s apartment as Amidamaru had told Angel that Yoh’s house was burned down when he and Zeke fought.

Len’s apartment looked quite small on the out side but once in the flat it was quite large.

As Angel and Amidamaru entered the living room area, Angel noticed that the group of friends were all asleep.

Looking around at all the sleeping bodies, Angel found Yoh, sleeping near the large window to Len’s apartment.

Walking quietly towards Yoh, trying not to wake any of the others as she bent down next to him and started to gently wake him.

Yoh slowly opened his eyes and yawned, and then he sat up slowly to meet Angel’s ocean blue orbs.

Yoh’s eyes widened a little as he pulled Angel in to a gently hug,

“Are you alright? Did he hurt you? How did you get away?” Yoh asked still holding Angel close to him.

“Yes I’m alright, no he didn’t hurt me and I don’t remember really how I got away” Angel told him moving out of the hug.

“I’m just so glad that you’re safe” Yoh whispered with a soft and warming smile while moving some of her wet hair out of her face gently with his fingers.'

OK. I'll stop there. I promise! But if you've got the trainwreck syndrome and you really want to know more, just follow the link I've provided. Just...be careful around heavy machinery and sharp objects. Oh, and keep a look out for poor Anna, would you? I've got a nasty feeling something terrible's happened to her.
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